Overweight & Indulgent vs Thin & Calorie Conscious

by HEAB on November 30, 2008

Before: “Pass that bread basket over here…ooh, is that honey butter?  Yum!”

Now: “I will pay you $100 if I touch that roll.  Do you know how many calories is in that olive oil dip?!?”

Before: “Pizza and a movie?  Sounds fun.  I’ll call Papa John’s.”

Now: “Um, um, okay.  Why don’t I make a salad as well?”  Meanwhile, I’m thinking to myself, I’ll eat a huge bowl of veggies and hopefully jut one piece of pizza.

Before: “Sure, I’ll be at the potluck.  What should I bring?”

Now: I’ll agree to go if I have at least several days between me and the potluck.  That way, I can make sure to eat really well for a while in case I indulge a bit much at the gathering. “Okay, I’ll be there with a vegetable.”  Yes, I am that girl.  I bring a healthy green dish, and then fill 90% of my plate with it.

Can we say control issues?  I hate the thought of eating in restaurants, not knowing what they are putting on my plate.  If friends have us over for dinner, I usually worry about it for several days hoping they won’t serve all carbs and no vegetables.  After losing weight, the thought of overeating for just one day spins me out of control.  If I do happen to eat too much, I’m usually fine in the end.  Yes, I’ll count and recount my calories for the day and then feel guilty until I remind myself, “Yes, I ate it.  There is nothing that can be done now.  Go to bed and eat better tomorrow.”  This thought always comforts me.  Tomorrow is always a fresh start, and I know I’ll feel better after just one day of my normal eating habits.

Sometimes, I wonder if my friends and family miss the overweight laid back Heather who would go out to eat at the drop of a hat.  Now, I plan meals out days in advance, and I don’t like it when I can’t choose the restaurant.  Losing weight and getting in shape brought about so many positive changes in my life, but sometimes I think it took some of the fun out of food.