A New Business Venture

by HEAB on August 6, 2011

There are many things I am loving about northern Michigan…


Waking up to a beautiful sunrise and enjoying having no Internet or cell phone service at the house. I’ve been spending my days outside with the fam and doing A LOT of reading. However, do you know one thing I don’t like about vacationing in such an amazing setting?

Screen shot 2011-08-06 at 11.05.47 AM.png


Especially bats flying around in your kitchen while you are trying to sleep in a loft bedroom overlooking said kitchen. Do any of you have this same problem? If so, CD and I are thinking of starting a bat removal business. We will stand in the corner of your living room from about 10 PM to midnight, taking turns screaming, ducking, and batting at the flying bat with a pillow in an attempt to get the bat out the opened screen door. In the process, we may drop a few F-bombs, freak out your dogs, and wake up all of your children. We will not get the bat outside, but we will trap it another room and be sure to stuff towels under the door because apparently bats can crawl right through the cracks between the door and the carpet. The entire family will then need to crowd into the small bedroom housing the sleeping baby/children and all sleep together. Don’t worry, the bat now has his own room. Sorry it happens to be the room with the flat-screen. You should be outside enjoying the beautiful weather anyway. Our service rates are quite reasonable. You can just pay us in Naturally Nutty almond butter since my Traverse City stash is almost gone. To schedule an appointment, email me.