A New Business Venture

by HEAB on August 6, 2011

There are many things I am loving about northern Michigan…


Waking up to a beautiful sunrise and enjoying having no Internet or cell phone service at the house. I’ve been spending my days outside with the fam and doing A LOT of reading. However, do you know one thing I don’t like about vacationing in such an amazing setting?

Screen shot 2011-08-06 at 11.05.47 AM.png


Especially bats flying around in your kitchen while you are trying to sleep in a loft bedroom overlooking said kitchen. Do any of you have this same problem? If so, CD and I are thinking of starting a bat removal business. We will stand in the corner of your living room from about 10 PM to midnight, taking turns screaming, ducking, and batting at the flying bat with a pillow in an attempt to get the bat out the opened screen door. In the process, we may drop a few F-bombs, freak out your dogs, and wake up all of your children. We will not get the bat outside, but we will trap it another room and be sure to stuff towels under the door because apparently bats can crawl right through the cracks between the door and the carpet. The entire family will then need to crowd into the small bedroom housing the sleeping baby/children and all sleep together. Don’t worry, the bat now has his own room. Sorry it happens to be the room with the flat-screen. You should be outside enjoying the beautiful weather anyway. Our service rates are quite reasonable. You can just pay us in Naturally Nutty almond butter since my Traverse City stash is almost gone. To schedule an appointment, email me.


shannon j August 12, 2011 at 12:02 am

i just got from the UP. it is so beautiful there- my in laws own cabin on drummond island. it is about 1 hour northeast once you cross the bridge- it is beautiful and so peaceful

Liz @ IHeartVegetables August 8, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Hahahaha my friend and his roommates had a bat in their room in college. There is a youtube video somewhere involving them, a bat, and a tennis racket. Ohhh man, not good! But they got the bat out of there!

Melissa B. August 8, 2011 at 11:27 am

Wow, it really surprises me how many people are scared of bats! I love them, and think they are cute. They are little insect eating machines, so I welcome them around my house. When one does get in the house, though the cats go wild!

Stefanie August 8, 2011 at 11:01 am

Sounds like a hectic night. Hopefully you got more sleep last night.

Alyssa August 8, 2011 at 10:31 am

Can I work for you guys? I was stuck in a room with a baby bat once, and my brave (and oh-so-effective) method of dealing was to hide under the bedcovers.
I was later gifted with a rubber bat by a friend with a twisted sense of humor.

Hope the rest of your vacation is bat-free!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:18 pm

That is too funny. At one point I was hiding in the bathroom and decided to start plucking my eyebrows. Seemed like a good use of my time in the moment. I don’t think CD thought so. πŸ˜‰

Alyssa August 9, 2011 at 11:09 am

That’s hilarious!!!!!

Jen August 8, 2011 at 5:52 am

Yikes!!!! Good luck!!!

Jen August 7, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Hilarious post!

Ellie@fitforthesoul August 7, 2011 at 8:09 pm

oh gosh! haha when my sis was a teenager and we were still living in Argentina, she was in the terrace and a bat went past her ear. She almost died of a heart attack. πŸ˜› Dang~hope that bat gets the point!

what a beautiful sunrise Heather! <33

Christine August 7, 2011 at 8:09 pm

YIKES! I woke up to two bats swooping around my bedroom about this time last year… and just recently stopped sleeping with a light on. I hate bats!!

Michaela August 7, 2011 at 3:15 pm

hilarious post! but I hope that you can get rid up them soon, must be VERY annoying!

Natalie August 7, 2011 at 11:51 am


Nicole August 7, 2011 at 11:03 am

Hahaha…thanks for the awesome visual I got from this πŸ™‚

Sara August 7, 2011 at 9:51 am

Ba ha ha ha ha ha. That’s hilarious.

Roz@weightingfor50 August 7, 2011 at 9:44 am

Hilarious!!!! Does your company shoo away birds that get into cabins too?

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Sure – sounds less scary than bats!

Kristen August 7, 2011 at 9:04 am

Heather this is hilarious! I was laughing out loud when I read this. We have fruit bats here in Okinawa that are HUGE. Their wingspan is probably 2-3 feet! I would love your services here πŸ™‚

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Seriously? Yikes! You better stock up on the Naturally Nutty. Sounds like I’m going to earn it! πŸ˜‰

Kristen August 8, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Yes, they are enormous! I wonder if they’ll custom-make vats of Naturally Nutty to pay you for your services!

Kristen August 9, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Unfortunately, I think the shipping prices would be through the roof. I guess I’ll have to learn to live with the bats…..

Enjoy the rest of your vacation!

Maria @ Beautiful Busy Bee August 7, 2011 at 8:55 am

It’s so weird that they even got in the house in the first place!!!

Bid August 7, 2011 at 8:46 am

We’re getting those bat tatts for sure now…

Errign August 7, 2011 at 6:28 am

This post totally made me laugh out loud, though I am sorry about your bat situation! I think I would die if I ever had a bat in my house.

Hannah August 6, 2011 at 11:58 pm

Oh, Heather, thank you! I’ve been needing a laugh desperately today!

Kim August 6, 2011 at 10:14 pm

You made me laugh! So, in the mist of a “monsoon” the other day, we are all watching “storm watch” on TV, such a joke. Anyways, our 2 cats are going crazy running around, silly me, I think it is b/c of the storm. Nope, they caught a lizard and were running around the house with it. So me, putting on my brave Mom hat as Fred and Bella are hiding out in the other room, Fred claims he was comforting Bella (sure he was), catch the lizard and put the poor thing outside. Foolishly thinking the drama is over, we are continue the TV entertainment, only to find the tail of the lizard on the floor and the cats bolt off with it! SO GROSS. Still have no idea how it got in the house (do I really want to know?) . Nothing like a bat however!

Angel7 August 6, 2011 at 9:14 pm

I have never encountered any bats, and am thankful for that. They sound annoying!

I am more afraid of snakes and big spiders than anything else.


Pure2raw Twins August 6, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Michelle’s good guy friend just moved into a new house and they had bats!!! We were like – WHAT – BATS??? I guess it was pretty expensive for them to get the bats removed, but I am happy to say that the bats are gone πŸ™‚

McIntosh August 6, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Build or buy a bat house…honestly, they are the greatest mosquito hunters and great for the environment. Like others mentioned leave a window open at dusk or trap/release it during the day.

Yeah…they can be freaky but generally they are harmless and the whole rabies thing gets blown out of proportion. Unless it bites you of course or runs up your cable bill (:

Annie D @ Annie's Simple Life August 6, 2011 at 8:35 pm


I had a bat swoop at my head once- That.was.HORRIBLE.


Jen August 6, 2011 at 8:25 pm

No bats in NYC, but if you could do the same with cockroaches, I’d be very grateful! Hilarious post — and way to make a trying situation seem almost fun. πŸ™‚

Aimee August 6, 2011 at 8:17 pm

FUNNY! We have them in NV too. Not to add to your crazy thoughts, but…..Be careful when you open outdoor shades and stuff. They sleep during the day and you don’t want to put your hand in there with them. We’ve never had them come in, they just freak me out by flying low over our pool. I think they laugh at my funky dance, freak out.

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:31 pm

I do that same dance. πŸ˜‰

Karen August 6, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Love this story! Thank you. A few years ago I was visiting my Mom and bunking on the couch when I was awakened in the middle of the night by my mother (78 or so years old) brandishing a broom, thrashing it wildly, trying to get a bat out of the house. It had come down the chimney. Such a hilarious sight….The two of us going after the bat….we did get it outdoors but man, that was fully. Your story was equally funny. Thanks for bringing back the memories.

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Welcome. Thanks for making me smile. πŸ™‚

Karen August 8, 2011 at 6:41 pm


Did you receive the pseudo bran muffin recipe? I was late sending it cuz I kind of crashed (I have Lyme and it happens). But I did send it Saturday. I didn’t post it but responded to your e:mail. Did that work or should I resend to a different address?

Holly @ The Runny Egg August 6, 2011 at 7:45 pm

That is hilarious Heather — a few bats have gotten into my parents’ house (via the chimney that was accidentally left open) and I remember being in a room with my sisters and Mom screaming our heads off while my poor dad was left to try to chase the thing out of the house.

Lori Bruner August 6, 2011 at 7:44 pm

i’ve had problems with bats through the year and found that if you use a tennis racket or something like it you can smack it withit and stun and then take it out side. It doesn’t hurt it just stuns it.

Nikki August 6, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Hahah! Oh geez! You officially made me chuckle out loud in Starbucks. πŸ™‚

So… do you intend on leaving the bat in his room for the remainder of your visit or is there more on how to remove it in your and CD’s business plan?

ps. true story, I am wearing a new pair of converse all stars, thanks to your solid advice. LOVE.

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Ugh, the bat is out…plus its 3 friends. Yuck. Hope they don’t come back in – we had some professionals come and fix the problem. Looks like the owner had filled in some holes and sealed the bats in. They couldn’t get out from their hiding spot in the roof and so came into the house instead.

So happy to hear you bought some Converse! I put over 7 miles on mine today. Love them and so comfy!

Alexandra (Veggin' Out in the Kitchen) August 6, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Hahaha, you’re too funny!!

We actually do have bats at our house! (Outside, though, not inside.) They sleep in the corners right by the front door. So what times do you have open for an appointment? πŸ˜‰

Hope the bat problem goes away! But it sounds like you and CD have it under control πŸ˜‰

Have a wonderful, hopefully bat-free rest of the weekend! πŸ™‚

<3 <3

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Our business idea failed. We had to call in some professionals. πŸ˜‰

Kilee August 6, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Haha! when I read the title, I thought that you were thinking of actually starting a new business. Best of luck to you and your bat removals!

Averie @ Love Veggies and Yoga August 6, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Bats. Omg I would be FREAKED OUT!!! I have posted before that one of my fears is flying birds! They swoop down, they poop on me, they are just…NOT for me.

Bats would send me over the edge. Skeeve! yikes! You are way braver than me!!

I am so happy for you though that you are able to disconnect and take a technology break and get some reading in and everything else OTHER than technology in. That’s so awesome. I want to be like you when I grow up πŸ™‚

Amanda August 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm

I just had bats in my house at 3am last week! I did not go to work the next day and my mom and dad came to my house and sealed any crack that said bat could have gotten in by. I then slept on the couch with the light on for the next three nights and cursed the BF when I got home from work to a dark house! I’m done with bats!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Me too! I’m having trouble sleeping now – can’t stop listening for bats! πŸ™

Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) August 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Haha I can just imagine a bat with his baseball cap on backwards, chugging brewskis and watching the game on the flat screen!

We have bats in Palm Springs but I think they are too hot to try to squeeze under the door (but that did scare me anyway!)

Well, hopefully you can catch up on your sleep when you come home- hahah kidding!

Sylvia @ LifeIsGoodWithFood August 6, 2011 at 2:39 pm

I came into your post thinking that I was going to read about a business you’re starting. I got a very pleasant surprise!

Thank you for making my day<3 πŸ˜‰

Robyn jones Clark August 6, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I needed a good laugh. Ha! Sorry you are having to mess with that but it made for a good chuckle. Seriously you should get one of those high pitch things bc it does work. My parents have one that keeps mice bats and squirrels out. It’s a little annoying though. πŸ™‚ sorry for the weird punctuation darn iPhone

Alex @ Spoonful of Sugar Free August 6, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I just had bats last summer! It freaked my whole family out (except me, for some reason I was able to sleep right through it.). My parents did exactly what you described-thankfully, though, my dad is a great tennis player and was able to swat one with his racquet and kill it. he scooted the dead bat onto the back porch for all the other bats to see, and ironically, no more bats!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:47 pm

So many people suggested a tennis racket…really wishing we had one!

Melissa @ TryingToHeal August 6, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Ahhh…i love bats! They really are amazing creatures! And yes, they will crawl in through the underside of your door. That’s actually what they do out in the wild coming out of rock outcrops: they crawl and then fly out into the air!

As far as getting him out, please be very careful. When we do surveys, you must must must have a rabies shot in order to handle them otherwise we stay away and gaze at them being handled from a distance. They won’t go anywhere during the day, so your best bet is to leave the window open (hopefully there is one) for him to fly out of at night. And if they’re bothering you at night, make sure there are no lights on outside, because they attract moths/bugs which attract the bats! Hope this helps a little!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:48 pm

We were careful and used nets and rubber gloves for the few we caught and last night we had some professionals come take care of the problem. So hopefully no more bats IN the house. As long as they stay outside, they can stick around. πŸ™‚

sarah (the SHU box) August 6, 2011 at 2:01 pm

that’s actually super scary about the bats! officially, if you wake up and see a bat in the room you were sleeping in, you are supposed to get prophylactic rabies vaccines (which are x 4 and painful!!) because theoretically you could have been bitten and not felt it. in reality, i’m guessing most people don’t do this, but hope you all haven’t had this situation!!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Uh yuck! Fortunately, no bites thank goodness and for now that bats seem to be gone. We had some professionals come and fix the problem last night. Hoping they stay out!

Nikki August 6, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Bahaha! Oh, heather you made me laugh with that one! I almost choked on my coffee laughing. I can picture you and CD chasing it… so will you open the door before you leave? or let the owners deal with it?.. BTW, there is a LOT less ice cream posts this year… oh what a difference a year and a delivery makes!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Look for ice-cream in tomorrow’s post, but yes, definitely not as much this year. Craved it so much last summer, and this year, not so much. It’s just way too sweet for me these days. The bat is gone…we hope. The owner took care of it and sent some professionals over last night to take care of the problem. Thank goodness!
P.S. Glad you didn’t choke. πŸ™‚

juli August 6, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I think that you have ordered from Iherb.com before?? Do you know if anyone has any discounts going on now? What kind of products do you use for your face? Your skin always looks so good!!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Not that I know of, but if you haven’t ordered from them before, you can get $5 off your first order with my promo code: EME542. Thanks for the complexion compliment. My skincare routine is so simple. I just use whatever soap we have in the shower, washing my face once a day. We use unscented soap – preferably all natural. If I wear make-up, then I will wash my face again before going to bed, and I love Burt’s Bee’s Orange Essence Facial Gel. After getting out of the shower, I moisturize with Cetaphil or a little coconut oil or cocoa butter if I’m feeling extra dry in the winter.

Emily @ Comfortable Home Life August 6, 2011 at 12:55 pm

“Don’t worry, the bat now has his own room.” AHAAHAHA I’m imagining this bat curled up on the bed, sipping a cocktail and watching your flat screen TV…

You have no idea how hard I just laughed at your “business proposal.” I’ve never had a bat problem but as soon as I spot one, you better bet I’m calling y’all!

Bid August 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm

somewhere west of you i hear a little mouse spirit giggling…

nadia August 6, 2011 at 12:30 pm

hahahah!! I LOVE This I vote for this as best post on HEAB! laughing so much right now…~XO

Shay August 6, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Bats? No cell service? These are the stuff dreams are made of! Er….wait. That’s nightmares.

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Yeah, most days have been great, but today I was really missing being connected with the world.

Barb August 6, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Bats = Less Mosquitoes. Bats win every time!

Erica August 6, 2011 at 11:44 am

haha brilliant!

katie @KatieDid August 6, 2011 at 11:43 am

SO funny! My roommate 2 nights ago woke up at 3am to a bat flying around in her bedroom. She ran for her life, hid behind a door and opened up the back door until it flew out. And she realized that when she went to bed 4 hours earlier it had to have been in her room because her door was shut and none of her windows were open! So she was sleeping with a bat in her room half the night hahaha! I cried laughing at her story, and yours was just as funny….

s August 6, 2011 at 11:42 am

haha bats!! they are so cute, but then they also carry rabies, and that’s kind of freaky.
this post was hilarious though. hopefully you can get the bat out of there at some point and be able to watch tv again.

Allison August 6, 2011 at 11:34 am

We had a bat get into my 12 year old daughter’s room a few nights ago (we think) from the attic. She was remarkably calm, but ICK!!! Turns out that during the day they are very easy to catch if you can find where it/they are hiding. They have to get a running start to take off (Ick again) so the animal control people told us to get a bucket and a stick and just whack the little booger in there and that it wouldn’t be able to get out. It was hanging in the corner on the ceiling (upside down sleeping . . .Ick for the third time) Sure enough it worked. I love nature – but I wish it would stay outside where it belongs!!! Good luck!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Impressive – your daughter is much braver than I. My evening with the bats involved A LOT of shrieking. Good to know about the bucket trick. We had some professionals come take care of the problem last night, but I’ll have a bucket on hand if we see anymore flying around.

J3nn (Jenn's Menu and Lifestyle Blog) August 6, 2011 at 11:23 am

LOL, that is hilarious!! I’m glad I don’t need your services, but wouldn’t mind seeing a demo, hahaha.

Sarah-Mae August 6, 2011 at 11:22 am

The image of you and CD flailing around and scaring a bat into another room cracked me up πŸ™‚

Lauren August 6, 2011 at 11:06 am

So funny! Sorry for the bad situation though! πŸ™

Lindsay @ Lindsay's List August 6, 2011 at 11:03 am

Bats give me the heebie-geebies! eek…Is he still in the TV room?!?

HEAB August 6, 2011 at 11:05 am

Yes, we think so. πŸ™

liz dean August 6, 2011 at 10:55 am

OMG….I think I would have a heart attack! And there would probably be more than a “few” F-bombs!!!

I do have to admit though….that is pretty freaking hilarious…but sorry you had to experience it! πŸ˜‰

Debra August 6, 2011 at 10:53 am

Not a funny situation, but this description made me giggle! Good writing!

Baking N Books August 6, 2011 at 9:05 pm

Ditto. Great writing skillz πŸ™‚ I needed to laugh.

AND ditto to be tech-“less” – God, it reminds you of what LIFE is though doesn’t it?

Meagan August 6, 2011 at 10:45 am

Haha – riot! I enjoyed this alot.

Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) August 6, 2011 at 10:45 am

I may have to call you for that service! We have bats around here at night and it totally freaks my butt out! I don’t mind vacationing without internet or phone, but we are living in a hole as far as that stuff goes right now. Hopefully we will be able to move out of the hole soon!

Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli August 6, 2011 at 10:37 am

Oh my gosh, Heather!! You CRACK me up!!

“We will not get the bat outside, but we will trap it another room and be sure to stuff towels under the door because apparently bats can crawl right through the cracks between the door and the carpet.” <-Bahahaha!

Jennie (the gf-gf) August 6, 2011 at 10:34 am

My parents had a bat infestation problem at their vacation home a couple of years ago, but they found a little sonar thing that beeps at a high pitch humans can’t hear, but scares the bats away. Worked great! I think it was from the Home Depot.

Bid August 6, 2011 at 12:31 pm

make sure said high pitched tone does not drives your dogs crazy

Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance August 6, 2011 at 10:29 am

I thought bats were fictional!

HEAB August 8, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Nope, they are real. VERY REAL. πŸ™

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