Sometimes, I Need Help

by HEAB on November 12, 2011

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I am not one to ask for help…like ever. (Molly, I know you understand!). Growing up, I was very independent and quite stubborn – ask my parents, my brothers, my friends – anyone who knows me well would agree that I’ve always insisted on doing things myself and my way. In fact, we like to joke that when CD asked my dad’s permission to marry me, my dad responded with, Take her. It’s your turn. Actually, he really did say that, but you were joking, right dad?

Anyway, for the last year, I’ve been doing the mom thing pretty much 24/7. Our friends and family have helped tremendously, but I haven’t taken much time for myself. So, my mom graciously offered to take the wee one for one morning and one afternoon every week. Usually when my mom babysits she comes over to our house, but the first time, I dropped Summer off at her place this past week. I almost cried when I walked in and saw a changing table all set up, toys, books – all of Summer’s favorite things were waiting for her, and I knew she was in good hands. Thanks for everything mom, especially for knowing that I need help even though I refuse to ask. I’m learning…

So, yesterday I had the afternoon to myself and joined my friend Jill for lunch at The Wild Cow, where I dined on some of my favorite foods.

WildCowWithJill.psd

Jill, sorry you’re blurry. You still look cute. :)

WildCowSides_edited-1.psd

Without my descriptions, I know this plate of food looks pretty nasty. Trust me, it was far from nasty. I am by no means a vegetarian, but I LOVE vegetarian restaurants and put together a meal of my favorite side items.

WildCowChips.psd

And of course, there were chips. There usually are if you’re dining with me.

Jill, thanks for a great lunch and for listening to me. Always nice to catch up and get in some girl time! The rest of the afternoon was spent running errands. Nothing too exciting, but it was nice to get so much done, all the while knowing that Summer was busy playing and laughing and being loved. Help is a good thing – why I never ask for it, I have no idea. Going to work on that!

{ 27 comments }

Erika - The Teenage Taste November 12, 2011 at 11:28 am

Great lunch enjoyed in great company! Have a great weekend, Heather!

Ameena November 12, 2011 at 11:49 am

I had and still have the same problem asking for help. I usually just don’t go out because I hate to ask people to watch Maya. Although now that Maya is 6 I can often take her along which makes life easier.

Hope you have a fantastic weekend!

HEAB November 12, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Thanks, you too Ameena. :)

Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) November 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Dang that plate of food sounds amazing! I’m glad you took some time for you. I find that the boys need a break from us sometimes just as much as we need the break. I hope you have a great weekend!

HEAB November 12, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Sarena,
Yes! I know Summer had so much playing with her Nonna, and change of scenery is always good. New faces and a new place to play can make a world of difference. Hope you have a great weekend too.

kathleen @ the daily crumb November 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm

i have trouble asking for help as well. i’m somewhat of a control freak and do not delegate well. something i am working on…

that plate looks and sounds delicious!!

HEAB November 12, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Kathleen,
My problem too. Learning to delegate – these days, I just have to.

Health Bee November 12, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Thanks for sharing the beautiful story. I agree: it is really hard to ask for help sometimes. I’m glad to hear you had a wonderful time with Jill.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Erica November 12, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Good for you- well deserved!!!!!!

Anna @ On Anna's Plate November 12, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I know my sister struggled with this too. She was with her daughter 24/7 for the first year or so, and then this past fall, she enrolled Sophie in Mother’s Day Out for a few days a week. I think leaving her for the first couple of times were very hard…but then she got over it and is now loving having some spare time to herself for once :-)

liz dean November 12, 2011 at 4:00 pm

It’s so hard to let go of the reins…I know! But congrats for taking the first steps…”me” time is very important!! And that plate looks awesome…I am the same way!! :)

Have a great weekend!

Averie @ Love Veggies and Yoga November 12, 2011 at 4:18 pm

That is awesome that your mom is taking Summer and at her house…so you can drop off and go have a tiny window of opportunity to get some things done, for you. Whether that’s going and cleaning your own house, meeting a friend, errands, or just going back home to sit on your couch for 20 mins in total silence and know that no one “needs” you…that is worth it’s weight in gold. All other mothers can 100% relate. Thrilled for you.

And the picture that you “wrote” on…is that done in PSE or in another program? I’ve tried Picnik for that stuff before b/c LR3 makes it too hard.

HEAB November 12, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Averie,
Yeah, it was kind of weird being in such a quiet house, but I’ll admit, it was nice. Of course, the pups were still here, and so I don’t think I’ll ever experience complete silence around here.

For the copy on the photo, I did that in PSE. Love my PSE! :)

Lou November 12, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Good on you, Heather – it’s so important to have some time out for yourself… sometimes it’s easy to get consumed in being a Mum. Since we don’t live near ANY family, I don’t get much time off so I do find that hard -however much I love getting to hang with Misty every day I still crave a little “me” time. Just a chance to re-ground myself ya know?
Oh my golly gosh that vego plate looks amazing. Yummo :)

HEAB November 12, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Lou,
If I’m ever in Australia, totally taking Misty and Summer on a play date so that you can have a date with Lou! :)

Kalli November 12, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Heather, I am so happy you took the time for yourself! You seem very happy to be Summers mom but everyone needs to have time for themselves even if it is just running errands. Enjoy your weekend :)

HEAB November 12, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Thanks Kalli – you too. :)

Fran@ Broken Cookies Don't Count November 12, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Everything looks delicious!

Lindsay @ biking before bed November 12, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I am exactly the same way. I never ask for help. I always like to do everything my way on my terms. But sometimes its so nice to just take a break… even if its hard!

holly November 12, 2011 at 8:12 pm

heabs…i am SO with you! i have had many people get very frustrated with my because i don’t ask for help well and/or refuse assistance. i am a stubborn and independent gal myself…i like to think most of the time, those are both good things.

regardless, it’s always good to accept help from those who love us most. hope life is treating you well – i am coming to nashville in april to run the marathon and WILL see you. don’t argue with me. it IS going to happen!

<3
holly

HEAB November 13, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Holly,
YEAAAAA!!! Oh my gosh, so freaking excited to meet you in April. It WILL happen – no doubt about it. I can’t wait. Stubborn girls unite! :)

Tracey November 12, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Totally get it! What a huge blessing to have family close by. I think I’m going to break down and get a sitter for a few hours a week. It’s amazing what a little alone time will do. Still whenever I’m gone for a few hours I am so ready to see my gal when I get home.

HEAB November 13, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Tracey,
If my mom wasn’t in town, I would totally try and arrange some sort of sitter or something for a few hours a week. That down time is so important to me, and it really does make me a better mama when I get it in, but yeah, seeing Summer’s face when I go pick her up is the BEST. :)

Hannah November 12, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Oh yes. Oh, very much yes. It’s so hard to learn that being independent doesn’t have to mean refusing to ask for help. So glad that you’re able to accept others giving you time just for you, Heather! You deserve to celebrate and embrace all aspects of you – mother, wife, friend, daughter, Heather-all-her-owbn, and so on. xoxo

Jen November 12, 2011 at 10:26 pm

You deserve time off! I’m sure it’ll get easier as she gets older. Plus, I imagine there is no better babysitter than your Ma. She did a great job with you :)

And that food looks delish too me! Of course, put hummus on a plate with anything and I’m sold :)

Jill November 12, 2011 at 10:46 pm

I’m always happy to listen to you-as I’ve said before, your bad moods are still nice compared to the bad moods of many other people I know. You always are so great about listening to my (probably boring/TMI) rants about nursing & work, too. LOL. Please, please, please always tell me if there is anything you ever need help with!!!! I think I have a similar personality (quietly stubborn and not so great at asking for help) so I completely get where you’re coming from, but I’ve been realizing over the last year or so that asking for help sometimes can be such a relief. People usually like to give it, too :-)

Lunch was SO good. I should’ve asked for a little dressing container to take the rest of the hummus home with me-it was so amazing that I couldn’t even bring myself to buy Sabra when I grocery shopped last night. I suppose I’m now a hummus snob. LOL

HEAB November 13, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Hi Jill,
Thanks again for listening to me. When Chris asked me lunch went, I said, “Poor Jill. I was Miss Pissy Pants.” Hehe, guess we all need to vent sometimes. Oh, and I never bore of your nursing talk as I’ve always been infatuated by the medical field. I’ve loved hearing how this past year has unfolded for you. So many changes for us both, huh?

BTW, my favorite store bought hummus is Trader Joe’s original smooth and creamy hummus. Just add a spoonful of pesto to it. :)
Looking forward to some Jeni’s soon!

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